My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
