Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
