wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
