Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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