my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
