me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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