dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
