He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize