we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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