Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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