Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
