I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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