why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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