I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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