I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.