I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't