K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.