just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."