It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
