you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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