there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This is my gift to your gina
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
