Sry I called you an 8
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
