are you still at the devil's house?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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