I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
