Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
