I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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