The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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