I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
