I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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