Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so explain again why im purple
no
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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