Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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