GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
