Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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