For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
