they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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