I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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