I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
being pregnant is like rehab
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
