he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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