i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
