Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
