READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
