whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
