I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize