He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
