When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
