You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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