i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
