It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I smell stomach acid.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Randomize
