Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize