lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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