i think i have herpe
just one?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize