is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize