OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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