I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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