He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize