No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
