just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
