butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize