3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Houston, we have a blender
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
