If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
