one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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