I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i think i have two assholes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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