Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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